Updated on November 22, 2022

21 Things You Should Never do on a First Date

So you've finally scored a date with that cutie you've met on an online dating site.

Congrats! But before you go out and start planning your dream evening, you need to know what NOT to do on your first date.

21 Things Not to Do on a First Date

1. Don’t Be Late

Everyone gets nervous on a first date, and it's understandable to be running late--we all want our hair to look perfect and the outfit to be just right. But that doesn't mean being late is okay.

It not only sends the wrong message, suggesting you don't respect your date’s time, it also shows poor manners and lack of consideration. It can make your date feel like they come second or last in terms of your priorities, which isn’t the best way to get things off the ground on a romantic rendezvous.

Showing up late often ends up disrupting the carefully chosen other set-up details such as seating, time limits, availability or introduction requirements to someone else who may be involved. That’s why it helps to give yourself plenty of time for traffic and potential unexpected events that could happen before a first date, and be as punctual as possible when you meet up with someone who's interested in getting to know more about you. 

Showing up on time is always appreciated and lets your date know that you appreciate them just as much as any other person you interact with in life! 

2. Don’t Talk About Yourself Too Much

We all love to talk about ourselves and share our stories, but it’s important to remember that successful communication is often a two-way street.

Talking too much about yourself can derail the conversation, leaving your listener feeling left out and unimportant. While conversations should allow for people to take turns talking, it's important to remain balanced.

Listen actively, ask questions, and take time to think through answers instead of rambling on with anecdotes. Taking glances away from the conversation or interrupting to tell another story can give off an air of arrogance or selfishness.

However, establishing common ground and engaging in dialogue demonstrates respect and nurtures genuine connections. In other words, don’t overdo it when it comes to talking about yourself; let others have space to shine too! It’s great to engage in meaningful conversation that feels organic and natural—just make sure it’s not all one-sided!

3. Don’t Order a Meal You Can’t Eat

Have you ever been the host at a dinner party, only to realize that one of your guests is allergic to something you've already ordered? It's embarrassing and awkward and can ruin the flow of the evening.

The same scenario can be applied to ordering food for yourself when dining out on first date. Before selecting a dish from a menu, take a few moments to assess how it's prepared, any key ingredients that might trigger an allergic reaction, and your personal tastes.

If you don't think you'll enjoy the meal or are in any way uncertain about how it is made, then don't order it! Sticking with dishes you know and trust will ensure that you always get a good meal without any problems.

There's no need for disappointment or embarrassment--just remember to never order something on a whim if there's even a slight chance that you won't end up enjoying it!

4. Don’t Drink Too Much Alcohol

After all the preparation that goes into a first date, it can be tempting to have a few drinks as liquid courage.

But if you overdo it, you could end up doing more harm than good. Excessive drinking really diminishes your ability to come across in a favorable light. Not only can it affect your behavior and make interactions awkward, but it can also give off the impression that you don't take dating very seriously.

Additionally, drinking too much alcohol can ruin an evening in other ways. Alcohol is known to impair judgment, so having too much could land you in situations that are less than ideal– like being taken advantage of or saying things that will likely regret later on.

5. Don’t Talk About Your Exes

Breaking up is never easy, and it can be tempting to talk about your previous relationships in order to cope with the pain. However, that's generally not a good idea - it sends a message that you're still invested in your ex, and it can make those around you uncomfortable.

It's best to remember the lessons learned from past loves, rather than obsessing over them or speaking poorly of them. As they say, there's no point in crying over spilled milk. 

6. Don’t Be Rude to the Waitstaff

One way we can often assess someone's character is by observing how they treat waitstaff when dining out.

After all, the waitstaff are there to serve you and ensure that you have a pleasant experience. Being rude or curt with them only sends a negative message about your disposition and how much you value other people's feelings.

On top of that, it can be incredibly uncomfortable for the other person if they witness your rudeness. Nobody likes having to sit through an encounter with a mean-spirited customer!

So the next time you are on a first date, think twice before being rude or unkind to waitstaff – it could damage your chances of making a good first impression.

7. Don’t Constantly Check Your Phone

It's ok to check your phone once or maybe twice on your date if absolutely necessary, but anything more than that is a big no-no.

Constantly checking your phone on a date not only takes away from the experience, but it can also send the message that you're not interested in them or what they have to say.

So try to leave your phone in your pocket (or even better, at home) and focus on enjoying the moment and getting to know each other. You may find that conversations flow more naturally if you both put down your devices and are genuinely present with one another.

8. Don't Swear Too Much

If you are swearing a lot on your date, it will come across as very unrefined and immature. Swearing is okay in moderation, but it's best to watch your tongue around someone you are trying to get to know better.

Don't be afraid of being open with each other, but don't use profanity excessively or it will be a total turn-off for your date.

9. Don’t Talk About Controversial Subjects and Politics

Avoid talking about topics that can easily lead to heated debates on a first date. Politics and religion are especially off-limits since these topics tend to divide people rather than draw them together.

Stick to conversations about hobbies, work, and life goals instead - these subjects tend to encourage connection rather than division!

Remember: the goal of a first date is not to find someone who agrees with you on every issue, but rather to get to know them better and see if there's a spark between the two of you.

So save the contentious topics for a few dates down the line (if at all!) and focus on having fun instead.

10. Don't Offer Unsolicited Life Advice

When you're on a first date, the last thing someone wants to hear from you is unsolicited life advice.

It can be easy to overstep boundaries when you think you know what's best for someone else, but remember that it's not your job (or obligation!) to offer advice unless they explicitly ask for it.

So instead of trying to fix their problems, focus on just listening and offering them a supportive ear. This will show your date that you care about them and are interested in hearing their perspective — which is far more valuable than any piece of advice!

11. Don't be Negative

No one likes a negative nancy.

On your first date, be sure to keep the conversation light and positive - no one wants to listen to you complaining about work or other people. Keeping things upbeat will show that you are an optimistic person who looks on the bright side of life.

It'll also help put your date at ease and make them more likely to open up and share their own stories with you! So try your best to stay away from cold, hard facts and focus instead on exchanging stories that make each other feel good.

12. Don't Over or Under Dress

Since you know the venue of your date, make sure you dress accordingly. If it’s a fancy restaurant, then dressing up can be really nice and show that you put in the effort to look good for them.

But if it's more of a casual outing like going to the beach or watching a movie, try not to overdress - nothing kills a romantic vibe faster than someone being too stuffy!

Similarly, don't forget to give yourself time to get ready on the day of your date so that you look presentable but still relaxed and natural. Remember: first impressions matter!

13. Never Lie or Exaggerate

Honesty is always the best policy when it comes to dating — lying about who you are or what you've done will only end up hurting your date in the long run.

It's important to be genuine and open with one another if you want to create a meaningful connection. So don't be afraid to be honest about who you are and what makes you unique — it could lead to some great conversations!

14. Don't be Too Touchy-Feely

One way to turn someone off on a first date is to be too touchy-feely.

While you want to show your date that you're interested, try not to do it by touch. Instead, focus on having meaningful conversations and look for moments of connection that don’t involve physical contact.

15. Don't Skimp on Personal Hygiene

First impressions count. Make sure that you look good before you go out and meet people. You don’t want to come across as unkempt and sloppy.

If you are meeting someone new, make sure you take care of yourself. This includes taking proper care of your hair, nails, teeth, skin, and clothes.

Don’t forget about grooming yourself. A clean shave, well-groomed eyebrows, and clean fingernails are just some things you should consider doing before heading out.

16. Don't Mention Marriage or Children

On a first date, (and probably many dates thereafter!) don't talk about marriage or having kids. 

Not only is it likely to make your date feel uncomfortable, but it could also send the wrong message that you are looking for something more serious than just a casual date.

And that's what first dates should be all about - so keep it casual. Leave these topics aside until you both feel comfortable discussing them.

17. Don't Fat-Shame Your Date

When it comes to online dating, sometimes people look different in person than in photos. It's possible the person you met hid their body or only had face pics.

If they appear to be heavier in person, don't be surprised. Resist the urge to make any comments about it - fat-shaming is never acceptable and could lead to your date feeling uncomfortable or even leaving the date. 

There doesn't have to be a second date, but your first one should be a pleasant experience for both of you.

18. Don't Put All the Pressure on Yourself

First dates can be nerve-wracking, especially if it's your first time meeting someone. Don’t put all the pressure on yourself to make sure that everything goes perfectly.

Instead, focus on having a good time and getting to know each other better. If things don’t work out, there will always be another chance. So go in with the right attitude, enjoy the date and see what happens!

19. Don't Give Off Horny Vibes

If your date is hot and makes you randy, try your best to fend off vibes of horniness.

Don't be too flirty or touchy-feely. You don't want to give off the wrong impression and make your date feel uncomfortable.

Your date may be testing you out to see if you're a good fit, so make sure your behavior is appropriate and in line with their expectations.

20. Don't Get Too Personal

It's ok to ask questions and get a little personal, but don't overdo it.

Don't ask too many questions about their job, family life, or past relationships. This could make your date feel uncomfortable and like they’re being interrogated.

Instead, focus on having a conversation and getting to know each other better in a casual way.

21. Don't Interject or Interrupt

Listening is an important part of dating. If you don’t listen, it could lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

Interrupting is rude. When someone is speaking, it’s rude to interrupt them. You might think you are being helpful, but what you really do is make others feel uncomfortable. If you have something to say, wait until they are finished, and then add your thoughts.

Wrapping This Up

Overall, it's important to remember that first dates are all about having fun, getting to know the other person, and making a great first impression!

So focus on being present and enjoying yourself - not worrying about what could go wrong or how it will turn out. And don't forget: be yourself and everything should work out fine!

In conclusion, following these simple tips will help you make a great first impression and ensure that your date has a good time. Who knows? You might even score a second date!

You might also want to check out a similar article titled: 15 Online Dating Do’s and Don’ts You Need to Follow

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